Sorry it took me so long to write a journal, but since I feel bad seeing all the birthday wishes without any responses to them, I'll just say it here: THANKS!  Turning 26 from 25...gotta say it's not a big difference XD.  So lately I really haven't been doing a whole lot of art since I've been hanging out with ~Magical-Me so much, which is ok for now since we probably should be focusing on our wedding coming up in a little more than a year.  Life is probably gonna kinda be in limbo until then because I'm still living at home to save money.  It'll be nice to finally move out, not that I have anything against my parents, but man, I'm realizing how much of a pain in the neck it is to have all your stuff that you own confined to 1 room...especially now that I got a taste of what it's like to be able to use an entire house to put your stuff in lol.

I'm not completely dead with art though, I'm trying my best to get weddings to shoot, and actually I just got a new commission for July which will be super cool!  Money in the pocket = good stuff!

I sometimes think back to the days in college when I had time to spend all day on this site (wow, I thought college was supposed to be busy xD) and get to know all sorts of people and follow their artwork.  I try to do the same now and I'm like, well I could watch them and everything and maybe get to know them, but I guess I just feel like that time is up because I have other priorities.  I kind of miss the spontaneity that used to be in my life.  It sucks, dA is still very relevant to me, but I'm noticing that every journal I post these days is about me trying to cope with these little changes that have taken place in my life, and me trying to figure out what to make of it.  Guess that's really the point of journals after all though, am I right?

So to make sense of my journal title, has this ever happened to you?  You feel that you're beyond the point of befriending someone from dA the way you used to be able to?  Generally speaking that is, there is no one in particular I'd like to become friends with, but I just want to know whether it is possible lol.

Just letting you all know I haven't died, I'm just busy lately.  Emily and I had our housewarming party last weekend so we had been spending the last few weeks prepping for it.  And yes, it was excellent before you ask lol.

Anyone feel like dA journals should be more personable lol?  I always am disappointed when they're just about commissions and what not, it's like, darn, I wanna know what are going on in my friends lives but I can never tell xD.  Oh well, suppose dA journals are good for that too.  So I'm interested to know, how is everyone doing?  Please tell me xD.  As for me, besides being busy, I'm obsessing about the lack of NHL right now.  2 days to go before we find out an 82 game season is possible.  I'm guessing...no it will not.

I'm engaged to a very lucky lady!



Love you babe XD.

I thought of the idea that the only way we will ever agree is when the belief and disbelief in God is not necessary in humanity anymore.  If you want to bring this even further, the only way for we humans to ever agree on anything is to strip us from all that makes us unique and distinct from the rest of Earth.

Thoughts?

After looking through my gallery, I think it's safe to say that my passion for art has dwindled a little bit.  I'm still doing photography, but I just don't seem to have that sense of purpose of making something to show the people on this site.

The problem I'm having is that I'm not sure if this is 100% a bad thing.  I don't think it's good by any means, but I don't know if it's all bad.  I guess a lot of my art on this site was due to the desire of belonging to something special, and I've subconsciously replaced that with something else.  Perhaps I need to find this nice balance, because I do miss it when I'm looking through my gallery.

The things you find out about yourself when you're in a relationship.  I realize now typing this that despite the fact that I feel like I'm more or less the same person as I was 2-3 years ago, a lot of things in my life have changed.  Life is a beautiful and interesting thing is it not lol?

Sitting here at my computer right now, I realize there are some things that change and some things that will never.  For one, I'm still a night owl, and I probably should be sleeping right now, but I still like to believe that these late nights where I just sit and think and try to put everything that's going on in my life into perspective really do mean something.

I was just going through my favorites, and I started back on page 400 something where I could count up from the first favorites I had on this site and...well I don't really know what to say about it, other than it really makes you think of life and its wonders.  I was 16 when I first joined this site, meaning that in a little more than a half of year, it will be 10 years since I ever "graced my presence" (lol) to this site.  

I recently found out that someone I knew on this site has been dead for years.  I'm sure my grandma passing away last month has something to do with my feelings, but it really makes me think of just how important it is to always be true to yourself and know yourself because simply put, we're mortal beings.  I don't know about you, but I don't want people to have any doubt as to who I was and what I live for when I'm gone.  The fact that life is finite to me reinforces the fact that us being here is a gift that most take for granted.

Anyways, the real reason I'm writing this journal is to touch base with everyone, well that's just the thing.  I notice every time I write a journal, I keep mentioning some variation of 'for those who still care, acknowledge my existence, etc.  I really don't know how to feel about this all, because obviously if I cared enough about my followers on this site, I would do something about it right?  I feel like I owe this site a big dept of gratitude because I developed my art skills so much while I was here, which ultimately lead me to my career.  However, the biggest hurdle I need to get over is the idea that the popularity I had on this site meant that I was at the peak of my art career, and now I'm just a washed up has been.  The reason I feel like that is because I see popular artists on this site who are still doing what they love and people are loving them for it.

Here's the thing, I knew if my activity on this site ever diminished or went down, it wouldn't be because I was pissed off at the site or the people here on it.  It would be because something else in life has given me an equal or better satisfaction, and that's kind of what happened.  So here it is.  My girlfriend ~Magical-Me who I've been dating for 2 years next week Friday, managed to get a job here in Illinois.  If anyone remembers my last journal, that was the big change in my life.  I get to see her on a weekly basis now instead of a...bi-monthly basis.  Obviously making art is a lot different than being in a relationship, but I think for anything we do in life, we want to have a sense of satisfaction for what we do and I want to avoid being cheesy and cliche cause it seems that all people think that their relationship is amazing, but really, I just think that's how it is when you're in love.  The thing I find funny about it all is how much we emphasized the importance of being with someone that knows what it's like to be part of an online community and have friends online that we never even met.  Out of all of that, the time we've spent with each other has drawn us away from spending so much time online lol.  I have a theory that if everyone that I knew on dA and forums and various other online communities I was part of could meet in real life and hang out as frequently as we can online, well the internet would serve little purpose.  Until that day comes, the internet will do just fine.  I think anyone reading this will agree that the life they have now can not be imagined without the internet.  My girlfriend, my job, and who I am would not be present in my life if it wasn't for this wondrous invention.

I don't know if dA will play an important part of my life from here on out, and truth be told, I really don't think it will as scary as that might be.  But one thing's for sure, this place will always hold a special place in my heart regardless of where I am with it right now, or another 10 years from now.  You can't script life, nor should you.  Sit back and enjoy the ride folks before you miss it

Lots of changes in life happening.  I'll have some work to show soon for anyone that is still following me

[link]

I helped out with sound and did some production photos for this film that features my brother and some good friends of mine, and my lovely girl ~Magical-Me   We entered this for Improv Olympics Chicago's Vidiocy competition and out of a good 40 videos, we took second   

It was hard work, had to sacrifice an entire weekend and then some, but after seeing the result, it was definitely worth it

Regardless of the traffic that comes through my page these days, I'm still thankful for all the people that have looked at my art in the past, and those who still look at it today.  I hope it's been a blessing as much as you've been a blessing to me.  Peace

Hey people, haven't updated much here lately, how's everyone doing?

I'm bored and I think I need people on the internet to keep me entertained for a few days, so let me start a thread here.  What are some cool things that have happened to you this year, and what are some things you're looking forward to?

This is all going to seem kinda one topic, and I don't want to sound really 1 dimensional here, but most of them involve my girlfriend Emily



Anyways, I went to see her way back in March where I got to meet her family.  That was one of the best trips of my life lol.

Then just a few months later, in between the end of June and beginning of July, I visited their summer home in Colorado.  I got a lot of injuries on that trip, but it was still fun lol.

And as for stuff I'm looking forward to, well we're going to Vegas in just a few weeks so that'll be fun, and I'll most likely be seeing her in December for Christmas and New Years if things look up!

As you can see being in a long distance relationship makes your list of things to look forward to pretty straight forward, but that's fine by me lol.  Besides that, life is pretty simple.  Same hours in the same job, same friends, and more or less the same weekends.  Sounds a little boring, but honestly, there are enough little changes in the routine to make things interesting lol.  So how bout all of you?

I remember the days when I thought I could never live without a dA subscription lol.  I guess I just don't care anymore, it's been...well honestly I don't even know!  Maybe since March?  Anyways, if anyone was ever thinking of being generous towards me, please, there's more things worth it lol.

So I got an idea.  You tell me what to sing and I'll post a youtube video of me singing it.  And yes, I'm that insane.

Edit:

Ok it's all done, I decided to do Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley.  You can laugh at me here:  [link]

It's a little loud so watch yourself lol.

I've realized just now...weird how it's taken me this long to realize this lol, but I realized that a lot of people use their journals for mostly updates on artwork and commissions, and not so much what they're doing in life and what they've been up to.  And I mean that's all good and stuff, but I guess I miss going through journals just to see what my watchers have been up to, and it's like, oh yeah they're still doing commissions XD.

Me personally, I like using this to keep people informed on how life is, what I've been up to, etc.  For people that still come to my page that is xD.  So how about you?

I still got a dA lol.  I really do miss this place, but I guess it sucks when you wish you could just come back and not have to comment on anyone's artwork just to let them know that I'm still around.  Honestly I got photos I meant to submit but after seeing how much attention my last few got I've been kinda....ehhhh.  Networking is too hard when you got other priorities.

Kinda makes me think, you guys know when you see those "active watcher" polls or journals right?  I see them all the time and I simply don't reply to them anymore because even though I see them, I'm not an active watcher, in fact I haven't for anyone in ages lol.

Alas, one thing I do miss is just having conversations through journals and what not.  There's some people I haven't talked to in months here.  But I guess that's what happens with full time jobs and addictive video games...and other things lol.  But seriously, how's everyone doing?  That is everyone that reads this and decides to comment xD.

I'm sick of Chicago's weather.  I got an ipod and a running arm band thing so getting back in shape could be fun, but when it's under 30 degrees in april, kind of makes things crappy eh?  We shouldn't have to put of with this crap!

Well I figured I owed all of you a much needed update on things.  But where to start?

As you have noticed, my activity here has dwindled a bit lol.  And I think there are 2 major things that have contributed to this.  First being that I now have a full time job with benefits, which I proudly got through my resume!  It's a pretty cool accomplishment if I must say so myself.  What I'm doing is working as an art instructor for a correspondence high school called "The American School" which you can see here: [link] if you desire.  Pretty much, I grade photography and 3 drawing courses all day long.  Sounds a little boring, but the students definitely keep it interesting.  Sometimes I get stick figures, and other times I get students that even inspire me which is great, cause as monotonous as it sounds, it really changes on a day to day basis.

Second, well this is gonna be one of those "revelation" type things that I've realized since I've been dating ~Magical-Me.  During college, I really couldn't keep away from this site and the internet in general, and I really do think it came down to the fact that I was single lol.  Not to say that I was lonely or anything, I was perfectly happy back then as much as I am now, but I think this all was because I found people in general, specifically girls online a lot more interesting than in real life.  Not to say that girls in real life are inherently boring, it's all relative really lol.  However, the one difference is, you meet someone on a site like this or a forum and you understand that there is something more to this person's life more than what the people they interact with on a day to day basis away from the computer know, and I think that's what makes this in general really special, we're embracing a communication that is brand new and we think it's awesome!  That understanding that I knew just made communication with people like you, the person reading this right now pretty awesome because as little of a significance you might think it is, for me it says SO much about someone.  And now that I'm with someone that understands this, and in fact, told me what I just told you before I even had a chance to tell her (sorry that kinda got confusing there xD), it really just makes all the difference.

What I'm trying to say is now that I know there is someone that will always be there for that communication that fueled me to meet a ton of people here and talk to them on instant messengers and what not, it just adds focus.  Yes I made a lot of friends on this site and other sites, and yes I do intend to keep in contact, but I guess I just realized in the past year is I'm not sporadically talking to everyone I possibly can as often as I can anymore lol.  I think the reality of it all was, I was trying to fill my social needs with anyone that I could have an interesting conversation with, but once you're in a relationship, well a healthy relationship...social desires and needs are going to change whether we like it or not lol.  Yes I got my friends who I love very much, but when it comes to friendship and relationships in general, relationships can't last if our story doesn't go anywhere and there are some people that will only be an acquaintance as a result.  Talking to people shouldn't be a chore, it's got to come naturally to both people and sadly, this is how I felt with a lot of the people I got to know on this site and forums through all the years lol.  And that's ok, not everyone is going to be a super best friend.  When you replace an acquaintance with a friendship that you both understand want to last for a lifetime, the desire to communicate will simply always be there, at least I hope xD.

I hope that makes sense, obviously this site will always be a part of me, but in the midst of starting a career and planning for the future with a long distance relationship, priorities are going to naturally come and go.  I'm very happy where I am right now, so I guess it all makes sense ^_^  Thanks for the years of support people, and seriously thank you dA.  Whether I like it or not, this site has changed my life significantly.

Things are going good.  Been getting back into all areas of art lately including my good ole first love, digital   I recently joined this fantastic group!



I've already gotten a piece done for them, and hopefully I'll have a few more in there soon   Feels good to have some purpose on this site again I gotta say, anything to keep me interested in art is a good thing by this point.  Thanks for checking in guys, I'll see you around.