Sitting here at my computer right now, I realize there are some things that change and some things that will never. For one, I'm still a night owl, and I probably should be sleeping right now, but I still like to believe that these late nights where I just sit and think and try to put everything that's going on in my life into perspective really do mean something.
I was just going through my favorites, and I started back on page 400 something where I could count up from the first favorites I had on this site and...well I don't really know what to say about it, other than it really makes you think of life and its wonders. I was 16 when I first joined this site, meaning that in a little more than a half of year, it will be 10 years since I ever "graced my presence" (lol) to this site.
I recently found out that someone I knew on this site has been dead for years. I'm sure my grandma passing away last month has something to do with my feelings, but it really makes me think of just how important it is to always be true to yourself and know yourself because simply put, we're mortal beings. I don't know about you, but I don't want people to have any doubt as to who I was and what I live for when I'm gone. The fact that life is finite to me reinforces the fact that us being here is a gift that most take for granted.
Anyways, the real reason I'm writing this journal is to touch base with everyone, well that's just the thing. I notice every time I write a journal, I keep mentioning some variation of 'for those who still care, acknowledge my existence, etc. I really don't know how to feel about this all, because obviously if I cared enough about my followers on this site, I would do something about it right? I feel like I owe this site a big dept of gratitude because I developed my art skills so much while I was here, which ultimately lead me to my career. However, the biggest hurdle I need to get over is the idea that the popularity I had on this site meant that I was at the peak of my art career, and now I'm just a washed up has been. The reason I feel like that is because I see popular artists on this site who are still doing what they love and people are loving them for it.
Here's the thing, I knew if my activity on this site ever diminished or went down, it wouldn't be because I was pissed off at the site or the people here on it. It would be because something else in life has given me an equal or better satisfaction, and that's kind of what happened. So here it is. My girlfriend ~Magical-Me
who I've been dating for 2 years next week Friday, managed to get a job here in Illinois. If anyone remembers my last journal, that was the big change in my life. I get to see her on a weekly basis now instead of a...bi-monthly basis. Obviously making art is a lot different than being in a relationship, but I think for anything we do in life, we want to have a sense of satisfaction for what we do and I want to avoid being cheesy and cliche cause it seems that all people think that their relationship is amazing, but really, I just think that's how it is when you're in love. The thing I find funny about it all is how much we emphasized the importance of being with someone that knows what it's like to be part of an online community and have friends online that we never even met. Out of all of that, the time we've spent with each other has drawn us away from spending so much time online lol. I have a theory that if everyone that I knew on dA and forums and various other online communities I was part of could meet in real life and hang out as frequently as we can online, well the internet would serve little purpose. Until that day comes, the internet will do just fine. I think anyone reading this will agree that the life they have now can not be imagined without the internet. My girlfriend, my job, and who I am would not be present in my life if it wasn't for this wondrous invention.
I don't know if dA will play an important part of my life from here on out, and truth be told, I really don't think it will as scary as that might be. But one thing's for sure, this place will always hold a special place in my heart regardless of where I am with it right now, or another 10 years from now. You can't script life, nor should you. Sit back and enjoy the ride folks before you miss it